Hellogoodbye

Goodbye

I know you’re never going to read this. You don’t even know I have a tumblr, or blog, or whatever these things are called. But this is your goodbye letter.

Yes. Your goodbye letter. Because I finally realized I need to live my dream, not yours. Oh yes, it sounds bitchy. Selfish even. But I’m tired of having you flip shit whenever I mention of leaving. I understand it’s because you are afraid and don’t want to be alone; because you love me. But sometimes the hardest part of love is letting someone go. I supported you with ALL your dreams, even when I knew they wouldn’t match up with MY dreams. I can’t stay here for much longer dear, I need to get away. Go out. See the world. Meet new people. Are you afraid of leaving? I sometimes wonder that.

And no. I don’t want a physical relationship with you. It’s not that you are ugly or anything, just no. I promised my mom that I would stay a virgin until I graduate. And I can’t let her down. I love her more than anything in the world. She changed her life for me. I’m not going to be selfish and deny her of that wish, I’m already a bad kid as it is.

Ya I know I’m a tease. A liar. A bitch. Selfish. And your crazy depressed ex-girlfriend. But guess what? I’m ok with that. Because I’m tired of looking in the mirror and nearly throwing up because I’m disgusted with how much I bent my thoughts and beliefs for you. My friends support me. Oh yes, FRIENDS. You never liked my friends. Why? You’re too cool or good for them? You’re just as mature as them; there shouldn’t be any issue. Oh wait that’s right, you’re extremely judgmental. My bad. Well guess what, they are my freaks. And I’m one of them.

So this is goodbye. I’m going to stand by myself for once. I’ll fall down a few times, but I’ll get up. Im finally finding my wings. I need to be with myself for a bit. I hope you’re happy. I hope you go places. Our paths may cross again, and they may not. We had our fun times. And our not so fun times. But for now

Goodbye